Everything is Reactionary

Life has recently felt like a consistent challenge to not react. Whether I am simply scrolling on my phone, conversing with others, or even just trying to get by in a day to day life it sometimes just feels like a battle. I often find myself easily irritable at things, quick to comment on a post, quick to feel overwhelmed, quick to contemplate replying to obvious nonsense. I try my best not to let things get to me, I will often delete a comment seconds after posting it, or deciding to walk away from conversations that feel like nothing but a trap to upset me. 

But the question just always bugs me of why? Why do people feel the need to be condescending, why do people defend the most heinous acts, why does everyone care so little? And more importantly how are you as a person not supposed to let that get to you? 

I do not have answer for this, and maybe there simply isn't one. Maybe you are meant to just take it day by day and hope for the best. Maybe it is different for each individual and we just all have to learn what works best for us. One day I hope to look back on this and say I've learned how to let me be the master of my own emotions. But until then,

hope for the best.

Plans at Night?

Yesterday for the first time in a long time I went out with friends at night. Which I know does not seem like a big deal, I am literally 20. But I do not think I've been out at a night event since my freshman year of college. The most I do at night is go to the movies. But last night I went to this cool place that had karaoke, homemade jewelry, crafts, and so much more. The vibe of the place is cool and not something I think I've ever really experienced before. I had a lot more fun then I expected, going into it I was slightly confused on what the vibe would be like. I could not picture it at all. Usually what helps me be social is replicating the vibe of other people around me but since I've never been there before and the only people I would know are my two friends it would make it more difficult.

It ended up being completely chill and I didn't feel out of place. I got to gossip with my friends and I made this collage which I'm so proud of!!! When I get my new apartment it 100% is going to go on the wall. I hope more nights like this continue for me,
I have already stated before I always yearned for a more booked social calendar. Now that I no longer live where I used to, I think 
this opens more opportunities to actually be a young adult that lives a fulfilled life and not constantly alone at home. Not that I mind being at home at all, I love to lounge, nap, watch tv, anything to do with relaxing. But it does feel nice to actually be able to get out.


Too many more nights to come.

Digital Junk Journal 𐦍

Countdown to Fall

This whole entire week I have been having the worse allergies possible. My throat was in pain for two days and my nose has been running non stop. I have taken three different kinds of allergy medicine along this week. It is safe to say I cannot wait for Fall to come. It is my favorite time of year! From the weather, the leaves falling, halloween, and of course my birthday. My hopes is by the time my birthday has come everything will be fine and I'll be able to celebrate with no extra stress.

Maybe this year I will even have a celebration and invite a bunch of people who knows! But I am very excited to see what the rest of this year has in store and I look forward to every moment to come. Even the bad parts.

October 15th, 2026 save the date!!

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