Everything is Reactionary

Life has recently felt like a consistent challenge to not react. Whether I am simply scrolling on my phone, conversing with others, or even just trying to get by in a day to day life it sometimes just feels like a battle. I often find myself easily irritable at things, quick to comment on a post, quick to feel overwhelmed, quick to contemplate replying to obvious nonsense. I try my best not to let things get to me, I will often delete a comment seconds after posting it, or deciding to walk away from conversations that feel like nothing but a trap to upset me. 

But the question just always bugs me of why? Why do people feel the need to be condescending, why do people defend the most heinous acts, why does everyone care so little? And more importantly how are you as a person not supposed to let that get to you? 

I do not have answer for this, and maybe there simply isn't one. Maybe you are meant to just take it day by day and hope for the best. Maybe it is different for each individual and we just all have to learn what works best for us. One day I hope to look back on this and say I've learned how to let me be the master of my own emotions. But until then,

hope for the best.

Plans at Night?

Yesterday for the first time in a long time I went out with friends at night. Which I know does not seem like a big deal, I am literally 20. But I do not think I've been out at a night event since my freshman year of college. The most I do at night is go to the movies. But last night I went to this cool place that had karaoke, homemade jewelry, crafts, and so much more. The vibe of the place is cool and not something I think I've ever really experienced before. I had a lot more fun then I expected, going into it I was slightly confused on what the vibe would be like. I could not picture it at all. Usually what helps me be social is replicating the vibe of other people around me but since I've never been there before and the only people I would know are my two friends it would make it more difficult.

It ended up being completely chill and I didn't feel out of place. I got to gossip with my friends and I made this collage which I'm so proud of!!! When I get my new apartment it 100% is going to go on the wall. I hope more nights like this continue for me,
I have already stated before I always yearned for a more booked social calendar. Now that I no longer live where I used to, I think 
this opens more opportunities to actually be a young adult that lives a fulfilled life and not constantly alone at home. Not that I mind being at home at all, I love to lounge, nap, watch tv, anything to do with relaxing. But it does feel nice to actually be able to get out.


Too many more nights to come.

Countdown to Fall

This whole entire week I have been having the worse allergies possible. My throat was in pain for two days and my nose has been running non stop. I have taken three different kinds of allergy medicine along this week. It is safe to say I cannot wait for Fall to come. It is my favorite time of year! From the weather, the leaves falling, halloween, and of course my birthday. My hopes is by the time my birthday has come everything will be fine and I'll be able to celebrate with no extra stress.

Maybe this year I will even have a celebration and invite a bunch of people who knows! But I am very excited to see what the rest of this year has in store and I look forward to every moment to come. Even the bad parts.

October 15th, 2026 save the date!!

How to Find the Beauty in Everything

 

Over the past few days me and my boyfriend Elijah have been keeping a list of what makes us smile throughout the day. It was an idea I came up with after trying to help both of us see the beauty in our own lives. I think often times it is very hard to see it through all the negative, especially with the current state of our country. Taking a step back and realizing the little things that make us smile everyday in our lives are apart of living. They may be small but they get so much bigger when you see them all written down on a list.

I advise everyone to start keeping a happy list, write down the date everyday and out down what made you smile, what made you laugh. It is important to see things like that can still exist even when life feels hard.

Make the life your living feel alive.

How to Have a Social Life?

 

I envy people who are consistently busy and always have plans. For me having an eventful week is having more than two plans in one week. Last week was probably my most eventful week in months. I went to the movies three times, and I also went to the fair! 

But coming off of that week I have done nothing besides my hair. Which I guess is semi productive. I yearn for a booked social calendar. When I was working at least I felt productive despite having nothing else planned. It is so hard to make plans with people and sometimes I honestly just get tired of asking and feel like a bother.

I am still very thankful for the people in my life who do actually enjoy my presence though. I am 100% not alone but sometimes it does feel impossible to even hang out with the people who care about you. 

One day it will all be so simple.

 I am in love with my new blog format and I'm so proud of it you guys don't even understand fr!! My plan is to document my tarot pulls here, show crochet progress and overall say whats on my mind and I cannot wait!!

I'm alive

 I have not been on my blog in weeks guys but I swear it was because I was locked in. I am on my third week of my new job (although I haven't worked one day this week yet). I got my first ever paycheck and surprisingly I still have a decent amount left over AND I got yet another Juicy bag. My collection will be growing this summer for sure. I also am obsessed with the braids I did on myself they're so cute. That is really all I have to say. I just want to make sure I post and that I keep my blog alive for memories!!!

ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ

 My period has officially arrived and now literally all i want is a butterfinger and to take a long nap with my bf!

Finally Employed

 I literally have been looking for a job for like two years now and it has finally happened. I'm actually employed it is a miracle. I am so excited, I have so many things I want to buy it is literally crazy.