New Craft!!

 I didn’t really get up to much today but I did try a new hobby of “sculpting” with clay. I didn’t do anything quite impressive I just made a flower jewelry dish and it somehow did not come out completely deformed. After it dries i’m gonna paint it and show results, hopefully it doesn’t look horrid!!

Pull of the Day

• Two of Wands (reversed)- Fear of unknown, intense indecision, and over planning without taking action
• Ace of Wands (reversed)- delayed progress, creative blocks, and lack of enthusiasm
• Hierophant- needing guidance
• Fool- yes

Takeaway- Although I am not sure what the future holds and that makes me feel less excited about it. If I trust within myself and the people around me who genuinely care for me and want me to thrive. Everything will work out the way I want it to. 

What is Next?

 I think I have known ever since I was 14 that I'd have to move out at least by 22. It has never been a clear path on how I would be able to get there. But I've always known. I am so envious of people who have parents that do not act as if their love is conditional. I live in this space inside my head where I constantly feel I will forever feel this alone and hollow. Even now with all the years of therapy and growing up as a person I always feel like a little 12 year old girl all over again whenever anyone is upset with me. Every time it feels like thats the last conversation I will have with them, like it is the final nail in the coffin to be exhausted of my existence. I do not know how to be, I don't know how to not live on edge. I do not know what my future holds, I don't even know if I can be successful. But I know my life cannot continue how it has and I will try everything I can to make sure it does not. That is all one can hope for.

 I am in love with my new blog format and I'm so proud of it you guys don't even understand fr!! My plan is to document my tarot pulls here, show crochet progress and overall say whats on my mind and I cannot wait!!

about me

Welcome to my blog!! My name is Jorai (pronounced your-eye) and I am 20 years old. I have many interest like movies, crocheting, baking, tv, and reading. My blog will consist of character analysis, life updates, things I take special interest in and just about anything else that fascinates in the moment. I love to talk about movies, politics, pop culture, and black experience. 

My blog will be all about my personal experience, opinions and interest. I hope my blog can become a space of conversation and peace for everyone!!

Enjoy,

Appleofjorai

˖᯽ ݁˖· ─

​And the day that people realize that Niall would’ve out sang Harry in one direction if he got more solos is the day we heal as a society!!

I'm alive

 I have not been on my blog in weeks guys but I swear it was because I was locked in. I am on my third week of my new job (although I haven't worked one day this week yet). I got my first ever paycheck and surprisingly I still have a decent amount left over AND I got yet another Juicy bag. My collection will be growing this summer for sure. I also am obsessed with the braids I did on myself they're so cute. That is really all I have to say. I just want to make sure I post and that I keep my blog alive for memories!!!